We’ve started early this year. Preparing for that joyous celebration on December 25th, I mean. I know it’s a long way off, but for one reason or another, we tend to start gathering things well in advance. This avoids the annual crush at Jumbo and other shops in Rhodes, a trip to which, although often entertaining, usually turns out to cost more than you save. Once you add in boat tickets, a decent lunch, possibly a hotel if an overnight is needed, a taxi or a bus and all that jazz, a shopping trip to Rhodes can be costly. So, I do some of my you-know-what shopping online.
I’m currently waiting for something special from another European country, and as it’s coming by DHL, it is not going to arrive, or so they tell me. Now, I don’t want the good folk at DHL to sit up in a cold sweat and say, ‘Say what?’ because their message, ‘Package cannot be delivered’ is actually so common as to be expected. Other courier services have the same problem in that a delivery reaches Athens, and then no-one at the delivery hub knows where to send it next. I often receive an automated message telling me my thing can’t be delivered because of there being no address, and yet, a few days later, it’s here and all’s well. Maybe it’s because there are few officially registered addresses for the island? Maybe there I none, I don’t know. What I do know is, I usually get the thing a few days after being told it can’t be delivered. (Never have this problem with ACS or Elta, btw. It’s only the other services; perhaps we are between DHL agents on the island?)
Anyway, that’s beside the point. This year, I’ve also used an online store which appears to bring with it something of a controversy. You may have heard of how Temu is taking over the world. According to Karen on Facebook, it’s owned by the Chinese government, and as soon as you browse it online, all your personal data is sucked from the computer and delivered directly into the hands of an evil villain sitting behind a bank of monitors in a plush office at the top of a Beijing office block. He rubs his hands together in glee as he gloats over all your lovely details, and plots the best way to control your life. That’s you and several million other online customers, most of whom are in a far more interesting place of power or finance, or who work for secret organisations and spy rings, so even if a country is data-mining your info, I doubt they are specifically interested in your info or you. Besides, my other online stores, banks even, already have all my details and I have no idea what they do with it or who they are. Lizard people working with Pukin to overthrow the West, probably, but as long as my order arrives in time for you-know-what, I don’t really care.
Maybe this online shop is a cover for a Bond villain, as these Karens* make out, but all I know is their stuff is cheap, it arrives within a couple of weeks, and there are loads of affordable gadgets and fun things to make a party go with a laugh. There are also lots of neat things for the home that you didn’t know you couldn’t live without until you saw them. I am more than happy with my illuminated WC pan. (I giggled at it for ages, and it’s even better in the middle of the night when you don’t need to turn on the main light because the loo senses you’re near and bursts into light.) There’s also a warm glow emanating from behind the TV now I’ve stuck on a strip of tiny LED lights. My you-know-what box is already bulging with unsuitable gifts for the godchildren at at a cost of €3.50. The best thing for me is that this junk comes from inside Europe, inside the country rather, so I miss out on having to pay extra for import duty as we sometimes do when things arrive from the post-Brexit yUK.
So, I will leave the evil villain deciding what he (or she) is going to do with my €57.34 worth of savings in my bank account, and go and order that must-have ‘Multifunction silicone sink sponge rack with adjustable shoulder strap.’ (Yes, that’s a real thing.)
* Apologies if your name is Karen. I didn’t invent this misappropriation of your name. I’ll refer to you as Kevin** from now on.
** Apologies if your name is Kevin…
