If you wonder why there are hapless people wandering about our village, or yours, paying more attention to the palm of their hands than the way ahead, it’s because of our old friend Google Maps, and our old enemy, Airbnb. This, I have decided, is a dangerous combination.
Yesterday, I saw someone wandering aimlessly, looking at their palm for a minute and then coming to a stop in front of a building. This, they stared at in annoyance, as if they expected it to be something else. After a couple of minutes of comparing that building with the one next door, they turned and did the same thing to the ones opposite. Short of scratching their head to the sound of a xylophone, they could have been a cartoon character.
‘Are you lost?’ I gave as my standard opening inquisition, and, of course, they were looking at Google Maps and trying to find their accommodation.
‘What’s it called?’ I asked, thinking I might know it. I mean, after 23 years in the village, you tend to know where most places are. This place, though, was called Villa Something, and like so many other Villa Somethings I’ve heard of this year, I’d never heard of it. It was an Airbnb that a real person once called home and still could were it not being rented out for a ridiculous €180 a night. Not only that, but it was in one of the most inaccessible places known to Christendom, and certainly not known to Google Maps, which was trying to direct this bed seeker through a private house to reach a road that was in the other direction.
Unable to keep up with the number of new Villa Somethings that have been going online this year, I shall no longer be offering my services to the directionally bewildered. Thank you for your time, now here’s more of the courtyard.
