It’s always good to see people writing on social media things like, ‘We’ve booked to come to Symi next year, what restaurants do you recommend?’ But I do wonder about the value of asking such questions. I know, potential visitors are excited and want to have something to look forward to, and want to do their research to make sure they have an enjoyable stay, especially if they are only coming for a few days, but… Ask anyone who has been to Symi what is the best restaurant and you will get as many answers as there are tavernas. ‘Which would you recommend, though?’ ‘All of them.’ Not helpful, maybe, but honest.

Some people might have had a dodgy experience at this one or that one, but it will be a rare event. Others might prefer this over that because it’s closer to there, or further away from there, or that one’s good, and it’s by the sea, but this one has a view from higher up, so you see more, and that one’s really nice, yes, but it’s a long walk back…

Another question seen and heard: Where can I get a taxi down to Yialos? Yialos. Can you ring me one? No. Why? A) I don’t have the numbers, B) They are usually reluctant to drive up to collect from the village unless prearranged. C) It’s four in the afternoon, you’ll be lucky. D) Take the bus.

The truth is, you can’t roll out of a village taverna in the afternoon or evening and expect to find a taxi rank, nor even a taxi, nor, after a certain time of night, a bus. Pre-arrange or walk is the answer there. Or stay in the village. Even better.

You also see what is to me now, after 23 years, odd bar behaviour. (It’s not odd, it’s just not how it’s done here.) For example, a couple take a table, she takes a seat, and he takes himself off inside to go to the bar to order. Orders and pays. Later, when done, one of them brings their glasses back to the bar, passing the barman who sits outside. If/when I am in the yUK, say in London, as I was briefly in February, it’s easy to forget that you have to act out this ritual before you get a drink in some places. It’s also easy to order at a bar and then head off to your seat without paying because that’s what we do here. Drink now, pay later. It’s called trust. Mind you, in some places you can’t get a drink without an app on a phone you may not own, and you’re lucky if you get any human interaction.

Anyway, we’ll be off to one of our many favourite restaurants on Friday for lunch with the godson, and we’ll probably end up missing the bus and not finding a taxi, as I did on Monday and as we did last time we all went to lunch, but that’s okay. We’ll walk up via our favourite route. Steps.

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Hm. That’s my opinion of the new camera so far. I knew it was cheap, but the specs sounded decent enough, and it’s fine for general shots, not that I have taken many so far. Zooming in isn’t so successful, but I’ve not wrestled with all the settings yet. I will leave that for the master to look at because he understands the macro thing. Here’s a shot using the zoom.

That’s the barge/crane that’s been working away on the Petalo road to the petrol station and Blue Star dock (still don’t know its official name). I believe the waterside is being expanded there for some reason.

I went to collect the delivery (camera) yesterday around half nine, once I had written 3,000 words of some sort – I will reorder them into better positions today – and it was a 50/50 visit. Sometimes, when you have things to achieve down in Yialos, you get them done with no queues, no waiting, all successful, and there’s transport waiting to take you back up the hill. Other days, it all goes to hell in a handbag and takes twice as long. Yesterday was half and half. The walk down was pleasant, and there was no need to rush. The post office had ‘Back in 5 minutes’ written on it, so I went to ACS and only had to wait five minutes behind a confused customer. (Mobile technology hadn’t reached their part of the world, it seemed.) Back to the post office, open, in, nothing to collect, out, and onto the tech shop for a card for the camera. Easy, done, sorted, and onto the greengrocer, because one of my side quests was to find mushrooms and mayonnaise. No mushrooms, but I bought some onions and potatoes. All done, off to find transport.

None, so a slow walk up, stopping now and then to chat to people, which lessens the blow of the steps when you haven’t done them for a while. Around to the supermarket, found mushrooms and mayonnaise, and back home to drip dry.

Where, later in the day, I was able to experiment with the new camera, and caught these overhead…

Don’t worry, they were gone by evening and haven’t come back. Yet.

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You know how you sometimes become fascinated by something? At least, I do, now and then. Well, my mind was recently set to wondering about a boat. This white one you can see in this photo…

I noticed it there one day and thought nothing of it, because we get them like this quite a lot in the summer. However, when it was still there a few days later, I began to wonder why. Normally, you’d expect something like this to be here a day or so and then speed off to another place, but not this one. It was still there after a week, and I was wondering, perhaps the very rich person who owns it also has a holiday home here and has used their yacht to ‘drive’ to the house in the country. Maybe.

It was still there about ten days after I first saw it, and which point I thought it was very strange, but as long as the over-wealthy people on it came ashore now and then and spent a few Euros in the village, that was alright. Of course, I don’t know if they did, but I do know they stayed in the same place a long time. Maybe there was an engine problem? Then I thought, if you could afford a boat like that, you’d be able to get it repaired double time.

In the end, I looked it up and found out it was called Boadicea, and it was a charter yacht. Very spacious, with room for up to 18 guests in nine cabins and with a crew of 22 staff. Art Deco style interior, cinema, spa, swimming pool, in fact, everything you need to completely enjoy the authentic Greek lifestyle and Aegean Sea. Best of all, it only costs you from €750,000 a week plus expenses. According to its charter website, in the ‘Low Season’ (May to September), it cruises the Med calling at Croatia, Malta, Monaca and Montenegro. Perhaps it was here for nearly two weeks without moving because they were lost and had paused to work out where they were. Perhaps they just loved looking at Symi from a distance. Whatever. Today, after some typing, I intend to head downtown where I have a new, cheap pocket camera waiting for collection. Maybe it will take some more interesting photos than the ones I take. We shall see.

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Imagine this: You’re at home in your kitchen, pottering around and minding your own, when you hear your patio furniture being moved. You know you’re alone, and there’s no-one outside, and yet… Another scrape. Now, I should mention that in this case, the ‘patio’ is actually a flat roof, and you’ve got a table, two chairs and a sunshade up there. On your roof. So, who is it? You pop outside and head up to your flat roof, and lo! There is a guest from the hotel behind you lounging on your furniture. This person has left their balcony, climbed over a very obvious iron fence and down a few feet to help themselves to your possessions, on your property.

That happened to a friend of ours up here in the village, and when challenged, the trespasser became threatening to the resident.

Now imagine this: You’re at home in your kitchen, pottering around and minding your own, when you hear someone up on your terrace, and you know you are alone, so you go to investigate and find a tourist climbing back over your locked gate, having helped themselves to your terrace so they could take a photo. ‘Can I help you?’ you ask, meaning, ‘What the hell do you think you’re playing at?’ and the trespasser simply says, ‘No, thank you,’ and goes on their way, leaving you more than a little fuming.

That happened to a friend of ours up here in the village.

Now imagine this: You’re at home in your kitchen, pottering around and minding your own, when you hear someone enter your courtyard via the closed gate, and go to investigate, only to find them taking photographs of your property and its view, and when you challenge them and ask them ‘What the hell do you think you’re playing at?’ by saying, politely, ‘Why are you on my property?’ they reply with, ‘Because it is so beautiful.’

Another true story of a trespass, and there are many others, I am sure.

To wear nothing but a bikini while walking through the village, Mr Worthington, may be regarded as a misfortune; to commit trespass sounds like an illegality. The residents would be quite within their rights to report, sue, take to court and so on, and I’ve never heard of ‘Because it is so beautiful’ being successfully used as a defence in a court of law.

Yes, the views are beautiful, but there are plenty of public places to take photos from.

I could rant for a while about this one, as I’ve seen it happen all over the village, sometimes out of nosiness, as in, ‘What’s behind this open and derelict door?’ and other times out of a sense of entitlement. ‘I’m allowed, I paid to come here,’ or something equally as ridiculous.

Keep your snouting on public land, I say, or at least ask before you help yourself to someone else’s home, otherwise, you shall, in my book, be no better than a fice! *

*My reference here is ‘The Vulgar Tongue’, a dictionary of pre-1811 street cant and slang.

FICE, or FOYSE. A small windy escape backwards, more obvious to the nose than ears; frequently by old ladies charged on their lap−dogs. See FIZZLE.

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I had three today. Three ridiculous attempts to engage me in a conversation about how I might promote my book. All of them clearly generated by an AI, probably in this manner: Idiot spammer sets up AI programme and tells it to go fish for books by [randomly chooses my name from Amazon], and to then send out a letter praising the author for his/her/their/its/they’s/whoever’s creativity {side-quest is to flatter gullible author into submission so use a soft approach}. Idiot tells robotic idiot to ensure the email ends with the suggestion of engagement, and a question – get the unsuspecting author to want to reply and engage in an intellectual discussion about his/her/their/its/they’s/whoever’s work. Idiot presses button, machine sends spam, idiot starts process again with another random author.

And so it goes on. I, as you know, bounce the emails back and black list the sender. Here are snippets from the three WoTs I received today. (Waste of Times.)

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I discovered your on facebook, and their unique energy has captivated me. How do you balance creativity with discipline when writing? I’d love your insight! Rhianna Donaldson

(Note: In this case, Miss Idiot Donaldson neglected to instruct the machine to name the book she found so captivating.)

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I recently came across your book *A Fall from Grace (The Delamere FilesBook 2)*, and I was immediately struck by how fresh and engaging its concept feels. The storm-lashed island setting, the layered family tensions surrounding Charles and Simon Marisco…

Anon

(Note: In this case, the anonymous idiot forgot to tell its AI sub-idiot to ensure its spam got the right characters. The Marisco brothers and their island are only in book three, not two. Idiot!)

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I came across your book and truly believe it has strong potential to resonate with book clubs and discussion…

Ruth Johnson

(At least Miss Ruth Idiot-Johnson tried a different approach, but she, too, forgot to instruct the AI sub-idiot to name a book.)

I’ll only pay someone to promote my work if and when I want to, and not until we’ve had a great discussion about the process and expectations, and I shall never pay anyone to publish my stories. I’m not that vain.

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Meanwhile… You’ll be pleased to know that outside, it looks like it’s going to be another warm day here on Symi. There’s no wind to speak of, and no clouds. The square was busy last night, which is good to hear, and so far, it looks like we’re in for a more usual September (in terms of visitors) following a quieter than usual June to August.

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