It’s been an interesting week. My postal vote papers arrived six days after the election, our godson came to lunch, and I received a message from my football-mad bother-in-law to effect that, ‘Football’s coming home.’
Apparently, this means the game is returning to its roots in China. Or Greece, or Rome, or, as the Bundesliga website tells me, Mexico, because the game was invented by the Aztecs. Possibly the Persians. Then, there’s the two Germans who introduced the game to Germany in 1874, and immigrants from there who took it over to America around that time. So, exactly where my bother-in-law thinks this particular ball is going to end up is anyone’s guess. I assume he’s talking about the first football association which was founded in England in 1863. Even so, that’s no reason for the English to get all frothy under the collar and claim England is the home of football just because they’ve won a couple of matches. ‘Its coming home’ suggests one was previously robbed, and to my mind, it smacks of that hideously, self-important phrase, ‘Take back control,’ that so successfully hid the lies that told the truth: that England was being run by self-serving idiots.
And breathe. Now we must turn our attention to the lions. Not the corner tea houses of old, but the three lions on the shirts so proudly worn by Englishmen of varying education levels and speech ability who chant, ‘Football’s coming home,’ with equally varied tonal accuracy. ‘Proud to be English, mate,’ he grunts as he slaps his chest like a silverback. Or, ‘Eng-er-land for the cup’, he chants, pulling his three lions closer to the camera, one for each syllable of his poor mispronounced country. All these proud men, women and children having a great time at the match, standing up for their team, showing off their three lions, a symbol of a nation of football watchers proud to have the three lions as their English emblem.
Who do we have to thank for England’s three lions?
The French. Some say it was Henry I who introduced the three lions to the flags, if so, he was of the House of Normandy (French). Others say that the motif was introduced by Henry II of the House of Anjou (French), while in between you’ve got the old King Stephen (French) Vs Emperess Matilda (daughter of Henry, born in England, but still, French, and there’s nothing I’ve seen that says she added the lions to the decoration, nor that she watched football).
Point being? None really. Just an observation that a) the home of football was some ancient civilisation thousands of years back and not Braintree, and the three lions of England came from the French. Maybe we should practice chanting Le football revient à la maison. Or how about, Eu domum venio? We could try 足球回家了,or, more appropriately, Το ποδόσφαιρο έρχεται σπίτι.
I shan’t be chanting anything as I will be celebrating the other godson’s 21st birthday at the restaurant. Enjoy.
Ps, bother-in-law is not a typo 😉
