Beginners’ guide to attending a Symi Baptism

As August seemed to be the month for baptisms, (Neil was called out to photograph three in one week including a double) and, as I was formally invited to one, I thought a quick guide to how it works might be in order. So here it is: at least here it is as I see it…

Invitation: Your invitation may or may not arrive in solid form. You could receive an envelope or you could have someone shout up at your balcony from the street below: ‘What are you doing tomorrow mate? We’re having a baptism if you want to come.’ Either form of invitation is acceptable in the village it seems, however an envelope is slightly more rewarding and often helps you discover the sex of the child. If it’s a pink envelope then the chances are it will be a girl. (See, it’s not difficult.) Inside there will be the formal invite – in Greek of course so get studying – and the one I received included an extra card, like an ‘access all areas’ pass that invited me to the buffet in the church courtyard afterwards. (See ‘buffet’ below.)

What to take? You may wish to buy the child a baptism gift; most people do. This is where you definitely need to now the gender so that you can buy something appropriate. I settled for a soft, all purpose, ball. Well actually Terri bought it for me but that’s another story. Put gift in (pink) bag, label it in Greek and English so they will know who it came from and it’s time to get dressed.

What to wear? Thanks to a recent cull in the wardrobe I’m left with one pair of shorts and two pairs of trousers that almost fit. As the baptism was an evening event I thought suit trousers and a white shirt would cover it. But due to the phenomenon of trousers that shrink on their own and the fact that it was a hot evening in August, I went for the shorts and white shirt. That was fine – you can dress informally if you wish, no one will complain. But if you really want to show off then put on your best high heels, your flashy frock and jewellery, have your hair done and slap on the slap, accessorise with matching gift-bag in suitably gender specific colour and away you go… I am talking to the ladies here of course and possibly some of you more adventurous men.

Arrival: Arrive at the church early enough to get a good seat but late enough to be seen arriving. Hand over your gift (to the mother) so that those who are there ahead of you will note that you were officially invited and brought a gift and will pass on the gossip to those who come later. Late arrivals will see that you were there early as you are sitting in the best seat. Meet and greet everyone you know, loudly, and have a good chin wag for half an hour while you wait for something to happen.

Hearing the service: Eventually the service will start. In summer baptisms are often held outside. You can be grateful for this because it is less sweaty and crowded out in the courtyard and you can move around. Those who do can smoke and everything is very relaxed. However, when you are in a courtyard beside the Pedi road with two hundred guests sitting under eight trees, each one containing ten cicadas, at dusk, don’t expect to hear what the priest is saying.

Don’t think British. For those readers who are British, or who have calm and quiet Christenings ‘back home’, there’s none of this gently dripping water over the baby’s head business going on here. Oh no, you are stripped off, dunked into the bowl fully naked a few times, covered in oil, passed around, dressed, passed around some more, paraded around the grounds and all this with chanting and talking going on, a photographer flashing in your face (I wish he wouldn’t do that) and people holding you, taking your clothes off, putting them on again… And I’m only a guest, just image what the baby feels like!

Only joking. But it is a far more traumatic ceremony (for some people to view) than you get in the UK and I have actually seen non-Greek people pale and depart a baptism muttering under their breath and tutting. To which I say, get over it.

Buffet: So, service concluded, (the cicadas seem to know this as they stop their racket around now) and it’s on to the party and gift giving. As a guest you are now plied with a plate of food, a drink and have plenty of time to mingle while eating cold cheese pies, cold spinach pies, a dry bun and a biscuit, while holding a floppy paper plate in one hand and a drink in the other.

Favours: On your departure (or after if you slip away early) you will receive a favour, I guess it’s called. Not a ‘while you’re at he shops will you get me a pint of milk’ favour but a parting gift that you can keep. Sometimes this is a bag of sugared almonds in a little net. In the past I have also received a bicycle – not a real one but one that you stick in the flower tubs so the wheels go round in the wind, and I’ve known people be given money boxes and other little miniature goodies. Last week’s event came with a miniature brass scale with a clock in it.

There you are – a quick rundown of the baptism event as I see it. I will be laughing on the other side of my face in a year or so’s time though as I will be a godfather to Jenine’s latest, Harry. I've started researching my responsibilities; it’s the godparents who finance the baptism and so I’ll be paying for the church, the bells, the invites in blue envelopes, the food, the decorations (blue), the clothes, the baptism cross, the priests and the favours. Actually I think I will have to ask the bank manager to do me a favour…