I saw this street sign in Split, Croatia last year. Can we have a couple up here in the village, please?
This is just a public service announcement really, and a polite request. I was sitting in the square on Thursday, quietly chatting to Neil and others, while some people were inside watching the tennis and others were outside the bar next door. Then this appeared…
One by one heads turned, and a couple of guys dashed out from inside to take a look, while the rest us exchanged glances and some rolled eyes. It’s not that we’re prudish up in the village, far from it, but we are in a village. We’re not down by the sea, we’re not a hotel foyer or a swimming pool, Horio is not a beach resort (global warming hasn’t reached that level yet), but it is a pretty old-fashioned, unspoiled, traditional and, above all, orthodox place to be. So, please, when you are exploring the village – and I can’t say this any more politely than this – put some f*****g clothes on you shameless hussy and… whatever the male equivalent of a hussy is. (See below.)
That’s got that out of my system. I tell you, I’ve seen worse, and I am referring to the bountifulness of the babe’s-booty here, but all the same… Yes, you think you have a lovely figure, and it’s worth showing off when you’re by the pool, but not when you’re wandering through an historic village street, passing people’s homes and, as you do in Horio, walking through two bars. I know some of the more desperate straight guys next door will probably be dreaming of this for the next few weeks, but for others, it just makes people uncomfortable and, the, um, bottom line is, it’s disrespectful. Now, I know you wouldn’t do this, you’d at least put on a sarong or even a tea towel, but you wouldn’t want your ass to be hanging out for all to see, would you?
[Re: Hussy. I just found out, rather alarmingly, that the origin of the word ‘hussy’ is from the Middle English word for ‘housewife.’ Sorry about that, ladies, but I expect those middle-Englanders still in existence and currently voting for your next yUK leader had something to do with it. And for the men, the urban dictionary equivalent is, excuse my language, a ‘pussbucket’, though at least the chap in the semi-nude parade was wearing decent shorts and didn’t have a belly like mine.]
Anyway, after that polite request to cover up, here are a few more photos of less attention-seeking scenery to see you through the weekend.