Please don’t

I saw this street sign in Split, Croatia last year. Can we have a couple up here in the village, please?

This is just a public service announcement really, and a polite request. I was sitting in the square on Thursday, quietly chatting to Neil and others, while some people were inside watching the tennis and others were outside the bar next door. Then this appeared…

One by one heads turned, and a couple of guys dashed out from inside to take a look, while the rest us exchanged glances and some rolled eyes. It’s not that we’re prudish up in the village, far from it, but we are in a village. We’re not down by the sea, we’re not a hotel foyer or a swimming pool, Horio is not a beach resort (global warming hasn’t reached that level yet), but it is a pretty old-fashioned, unspoiled, traditional and, above all, orthodox place to be. So, please, when you are exploring the village – and I can’t say this any more politely than this – put some f*****g clothes on you shameless hussy and… whatever the male equivalent of a hussy is. (See below.)

More appropriate village clothing is modeled here

That’s got that out of my system. I tell you, I’ve seen worse, and I am referring to the bountifulness of the babe’s-booty here, but all the same… Yes, you think you have a lovely figure, and it’s worth showing off when you’re by the pool, but not when you’re wandering through an historic village street, passing people’s homes and, as you do in Horio, walking through two bars. I know some of the more desperate straight guys next door will probably be dreaming of this for the next few weeks, but for others, it just makes people uncomfortable and, the, um, bottom line is, it’s disrespectful. Now, I know you wouldn’t do this, you’d at least put on a sarong or even a tea towel, but you wouldn’t want your ass to be hanging out for all to see, would you?

[Re: Hussy. I just found out, rather alarmingly, that the origin of the word ‘hussy’ is from the Middle English word for ‘housewife.’ Sorry about that, ladies, but I expect those middle-Englanders still in existence and currently voting for your next yUK leader had something to do with it. And for the men, the urban dictionary equivalent is, excuse my language, a ‘pussbucket’, though at least the chap in the semi-nude parade was wearing decent shorts and didn’t have a belly like mine.]

Anyway, after that polite request to cover up, here are a few more photos of less attention-seeking scenery to see you through the weekend.

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An evening boat trip

We’d like to say a huge thank you to Pat and Hazel for the party on the Poseidon on Wednesday night, and to everyone who made it such a memorable night. Yiannis, Theodoros and the crew had already been out on a full day trip before turning the boat around and welcoming us aboard for an evening at Taviri. Great food, dancing and company – but not great photos, sorry about that.

Taviri is the small bay on Nimos, the island opposite Yialos. There’s not much there apart from a disused house used only by the goats, and a concrete jetty in need of repair, but don’t let that put you off. From there, you can see Turkey all around and over to the right after dark, the lights of Rhodes. The ferry came past after we’d arrived, heading back to Piraeus, but otherwise, there was very little boat activity, just long views of sea and coastline in the distance. The wind had been up to force four or five, but it settled down during the evening, making the trip back after dark much calmer than the one going out at sunset.

After that traditional group photo, we piled off the boat and caught a taxi after a couple of minutes’ wait, which is much easier than walking up the steps. It was, for me, a very late night and I’d been up and about since four in the morning which meant that yesterday, I didn’t wake up until half-five, half the day gone, and I wasn’t much in the mood for doing anything. We did, though, drag ourselves out to get some shopping and stopped for a frappe at Lefteris’ kafeneion on the way home, after which it was back to the desk for me and the final read-through of the latest story. You can book the Poseidon for private parties, just ask at the kiosk in Yialos, and I should also mention the other day-trip boat, the Maria, run by Lakis Travel. I’ve not been on it yet, but I have heard good reports. Perhaps when mother is here in September?

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Another non-morning

I did say I’d try and do more of a written blog today, but, tbh, I can’t get my head around it. I couldn’t even get my head around a walk yesterday morning. I discovered an issue with my Amazon account and book sales, checked and found that there are some payments missing. I had to trawl my Amazon reports and compare them to my bank statement, and then work out what was wrong. By the time I’d figured it all out and written them a long email with all the details of missing payments, my head was, as they say, done in. Which is why today, I am just bunging up a few images before going to sit in front of the fan in a dark room.

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